robby's blog

new post

Wednesday, May 19th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 4 Comments

RIGHT

So I haven’t posted in forever because all my free time has been bought by gaming, videos, and video gaming. I’m trying to pack in as much STUFF as I can before I go to camp for the other STUFF. Like when I eat, I’m only consuming one thing at a time. It’s workin’ out for me, I think. Basically, my life is equally as hectic as when I was in finals, but now it’s hectic with fun things and things I enjoy and also some productivity on the side. Which reminds me, I need to finish powerwashing/mowing today. Allow me to get on that, right after I profess MY DEEP DESIRE TO OWN STARCRAFT 2 IT IS A WIN.

This was pretty short. I have a photoblog incoming, as soon as I install the printer and scan all of my photos. Tee hee and whatnot.

SOO MUCH TO DO

meta

Tuesday, May 4th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

I just had a dream.

Hang with me now, this one was weird.

Usually, I have dreams where the geography is weird. Either it’s unpractical, or it’s a place I know, but my head has changed great portions of it. Well, I was at my grade school, and the geography was exquisite. Nothing was out of place. The creek was even proportional, though there were people getting washed away in it. So, what I remember of the dream was that Autumn (a girl with whom I went to high school [interesting fact, I always want to capitalize high school. When I don't do that, I either conjoin it or hyphenate it]) and the nice guy from American Pie (which I watched pieces of on the telly, so I can’t tell you which are the naughty bits, sorry) were getting married. To condense that sentence, Autumn and the nice guy from American pie were getting married. Sorry. I love ellipticals. CARRY ON. My uncle John was performing the ceremony for God knows what reason, because I’m not sure he’s ever A: been to Missouri, or B: been in one of my dreams. BUT I just saw him, so it makes sense that he is my dreampreacher of choice.

They were getting married and the creek, without picking up, began to drown everyone but the guy from American Pie (because in my dream he was apparently expandable, and was able to keep his head above water when his bride and the preacher were drowning.) Someone was concerned, but I waived them off, because Stephanie was there, and she had a lifeguarding licence.

The Nazis showed up (I couldn’t actually see them, but it’s not like I was looking at them) and ordered us all back to our side of the creek (because we were trying to escape by standing in the middle and marrying ourselves? It made more sense in the dream.) Then I became a little girl (Candace Tyler, actually) and lost my neck transponder and saw some of the stupidest escape attempts I have ever seen in my life (such as a swing off of a kite? I don’t know). I wanted to bury my neck transponder, but since Moberly is the only place in my entire dream world with accurate geography, the soybean field was gone, so I had to do fancy magical things to bury it. This is about the time when I saw a naruto headband and said to myself “OH I shall take this to Philip. He will enjoy it immensely!” And went back to my dream. I didn’t quite realize the stupidity of that (Philip wasn’t in my dream. He’s rarely in my dreams), so I went blithely on, until I said to myself, and I quote, “I should check real-world time!” and I found out that I was 5 hours late to Haluska’s class from the last dream.

META DREAM

I had a dream, in which I knew I was dreaming, but my reality had reset to be THE CLASS FROM THE LAST DREAM (which I was also late to, so double whammy.)

catsup

Monday, April 19th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Some people pronounce it “catch up.”

I haven’t blogged in a week. Sorry. My life has been a languid pile of poop since I finished my paper/portfolio projects (on the same day, no less no less) and so I haven’t been motivated for much. Let me catch you up, in no particular order.

Strawberry Fest: Had Gordon Bietz. He walked on stage, and the applause ONLY GREW until THERE WAS A STANDING OVATION. Because he WALKED ON STAGE. I love our president. We were sitting behind him at the program, and I’m super pleased to announce that he didn’t even plug his ears for the really loud songs (Regina and I totally plugged our ears, thankyouverymuch). He was wearing a tux. OH and there were pictures and stuff? You know, Strawberry Fest.
At one point, some dudes got up and played the first chords to “With a Little Help From my Friends.” I thought no, it couldn’t be. I am pleased to announce that it was! The Beatles = win! However, the song stopped prematurely and I thought what’s happening now? Did they forget/truncate the song? And then, the unspeakable happened. A wail of a guitar pealed out and the singer screamed “DO YOU NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED ANYBODY?” More guitar “I NEEEEEEEEEEEEED SOMEONE TO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVEEEEEEE” and I realized that they were playing the gay Across the Universe remix version. Travesty.

Renaissance Faire: I went with Kayla Rouse. We saw some people who are way too good at acrobatics. Their act hasn’t changed at all since last year. It’s still funny.
“We have to deal with the most horrible, terrible thing at the Renaissance Faire!” (both men together, pointing at the female member of the troupe) “SMALL’S BONY BUTT!” (She holds up a sign over her butt that says ‘raaaaar’ and she growls into the mic.)
Then we saw a joust. It was just as awesome as last year, except I got more pictures and we got to cheer for the funny/evil guy. He raspberried his tongue at the other knight and stuff. We saw lots of other weird things, ate curly fries drenched in cheese, witnessed a coronation, and avoided being a part of the Ded Bob Sho. [link is not safe for chitlins] Then, we saw Tartanic. They are Bagpipe rock. It’s super awesome. Here allow me to make a subpoint:

Tartanic: We were watching, and one of the guys’ shirts was not as closed as was decent (but it’s a Ren Faire, what are you gonna do?) and he was super sweaty (but it’s Georgia, what are you gonna do?) and he was WAY too energetic (but it’s a rock[ish] concert, what are you gonna do?). He came over with a tambourine and made super excited faces at Kayla and said “HERE PLAY THIS!” and smiled and said “COME ON, MAN! LET YOUR WOMAN PLAY! HERE, JUST SLAP IT AGAINST YOUR PALM LIKE THIS!” He shoved it into her hands, so she took it (to avoid further embarrassment, I’m sure) and started playing half-heartedly (to prevent him from coming over again, I’m sure). A drunk lady on the other side of the aisle was gesticulating wildly and making really big eye motions at me, so I pointed her out to Kayla as a potential target for the tambourine. This lady ended up on stage, wedged between the two drums, dancing like the drunken lush that she was and shaking the ample provisions of God’s blessings. Kayla turned to me after and said “I cannot thank you enough for pointing out that lady.” I guess I’m kind of a hero.

Episode 10 of things I like: I like books that are no longer current/reasonable/accepted as sound. I think that I like them because it reassures me that I don’t REALLY want to be published because LOOK at how these books have aged! I found a good example today. It is Questions Girls Have Asked, and it is summarily amazing. Some of the questions that “girls have asked” fly in the face of logic. Here are some examples: “How Can I Know When I am in Love?” and “What Can I Do to Lose Weight?” and “Is It Possible for Me to Gain Weight?” and “How Do I Avoid Body Odor?” and “How Can I Be Sure My Boy Friend Loves Me?” and “What Are the Rules for Being Popular?” and “Can I Have More Pep?” My favorite so far is probably “Must I Be Unpopular?” or “What Is Wrong With Marriage?” And my favorite answer is part of “How Does Life Begin?”

“In love’s climactic emotional expression, an automatic physical mechanism is brought into action. From the husband there enters into the wife’s body, through a receptive vaultlike passage, a deluge of fluid filled with innumerable cells, so small they can be seen only through a high-powered microscope.” [Later on . . .] “Although the more modern term is uterus, the word womb has a poetic association.”

I’ll figure out what to post next.

dear john

Sunday, April 11th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Was horrible. I saw through it from start to finish. Amanda Seyfried looks like a fish. I couldn’t watch the love scene because the music was so laughable. SO LAUGHABLE. The characters were overwrought from start to finish. the only convincing part of the whole film was where the dude talked to his dying father. And did I mention that Amanda Seyfreed seyfreid sayfried looks like a fish? I’m not looking up how to spell her last name because she looks like a fish.

And yet I enjoyed myself because I was with Kayla. Yeah, I’m pretty easy to please.

MY POINT: Nicholas Sparks should be shot. With a stop-writing gun.

lgbt

Saturday, April 10th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Last summer, I met a guy who told me that he was, in fact, a homosexual.

I’m not proud of how I reacted.

I have never thought of myself as intolerant or hateful. I guess I was wrong, ‘cuz I spazzed out on this dude. I don’t know why, specifically. Perhaps God put him in my way to open my eyes.

Here’s my view on lgbt (and you can go look that up. I may have mixed the order of the letters, but I’m sticking to it.). I don’t like the idea of them. It’s like the aliens that are cooked up by Ozymandias in Watchmen and you get bonus points for reading the book and knowing what I’m talking about. Or the buggers in Ender’s Game or the bugs in Starship Troopers. They are the Other, against whom I define myself. That sounds mean, but the very thought of finding a man sexually attractive or the thought of wanting to change my gender . . . repulses me. And I’m not happy that I’m being mean about it. I’ve met a few gay men and maybe a lesbian or two. They are among some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. (oh, and I have the worst gaydar in the whole flipping world, so it’s not like I knew it at the time.) And yet my skin crawls at the thought of homosexuality.

Here’s my belief, in concision. There is nothing wrong with people who either believe themselves to be or are homosexual. The people are fine. The act is not.

It’s the same idea as “the institution of the papacy is devil-designed but the Pope is one of the nicest guys” that Adventists seem to love. You could also phrase it as “hate the sin, love the sinner.” I don’t know if that’s sound logic, but it makes me feel better about myself. See, in this way, I can continue in my belief that homosexuality is bad and reconcile it to the fact that homosexuals aren’t bad people. Instead, I just feel bad that they’re homosexuals, like if one of my friends told me that they were an adulterer/thief/lier/envious sumbitch. It doesn’t change who they are.

And I hope that’s how people treat my myriad sins.

As my final note: if you are reading this and are homosexual, I’m sorry for all the crap you get. I’m sorry you have to hide from your friends/family/neighbors until you feel confident enough to throw them all. I’m sorry you have to struggle. I’m sorry I’m not helping the problem. I’m sorry that I can’t understand you at all.

I hope you feel better tomorrow.

time for a photoblag

Thursday, April 8th, 2010 | Uncategorized | No Comments

So I’m trying something new with WORDPRESS.

Allow me to explain, in no particular order. That sink was so dirty I actually felt dirtier after using it. It’s supposed to be white: it’s grey/brown. The toilet had a button on top to flush. Once you flushed, the button sucked down and then pressed back up into your finger really fast. I freaked when it did it to me. The pillar is 35+ feet in Luray Caverns in Shenendoah Valley, VA. Blondo’s Great Grandpappy found the caverns, apparently. There is a song we sang in Luray caverns. I’ll link to that at the end of this PIECE wait for it. The shoes were me/a kid and we traded shoes. The face is you should practice that face. The table was set with super-modern awesome fruit breakfrast and fruhstuck in German. Who knows? Anyway, the two chocolate bunnies were Mum’s april fools rabbit rabbit to me. The bloody arm was from Sonrise and I didn’t wash it off because in 15 minutes I’d just get bloody again (why make my bed or brush my teeth either?) the banana I split and it looked funny because it was like THE BANANA KEEPS GOING BUT PART OF IT IS AIR (I refuse to explain) and the “Truck Alignment Specialist” is hilarious without explanation, okay?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crWZUXXX6js

pity

Sunday, April 4th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 4 Comments

Today I was eating in CK with Josh and I saw a girl I’ve known for some time. She stood up to leave and saw me. So I smiled and waved. She waved back.

And then her face flashed pity so strong I almost choked.

And it’s not like there’s a comprehensible reason for it. I haven’t hung out with her for a while because school placed us in different classes and work and whatever. I have absolutely no idea why she pities me. Maybe . . . no, I got nothing.

———————————————————————————————————————————–

I mean, it could be that I was misreading her face. It could have also been the condescending happy face that people make at children when the kid does something stupid and adorable. BUT it had an element of sadness around the eyes.

If you ARE that person or someone (preferably female) with some insight, go ahead and throw it at me because I’m superconfused.

a muse about phrases

Friday, April 2nd, 2010 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

“5 points!”

Yell that in just about any situation and it makes it funnier. I passed a couple who was mackin’ on front campus and I said it. The girl looked at me funny. “Not for you, for him!” She looked slightly confused and very insulted. I kept walking. A guy in the bathroom let a horrible one rip loose. I said it and he laughed. Then he laughed nervously.

I told Curtis what I did and he laughed. He said “If the guy getting the kiss had been on the top of his game, he would have said ‘I thought it was at least ten points!’”
I said to Curtis “No, if he had been on the top of his game, he would have said “Aww, the French judge is always hard to please.”
Curtis gave me a high five and said I must be having a good night.

I was.

demon car

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

TODAY I was taking a walk and I was near Lynn Wood hall. Tra la la (that’s my walking sound, yes. Don’t question) when all of a sudden I hear someone’s motor trying desperately to turn over. ClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClickClick and then it stopped. I turned to laugh at the poor fool whose car needed a jump and SAW THAT THERE WAS NO ONE INSIDE. I checked. I went to the passenger window and peered in creepily. Then I called out “There’s no one inside this car!” Kevin DeBenedictis was there and just looked at me funny. I said “Didn’t you hear the car try to start?” He said “OH, it was that car?” I nodded sagely. He picked up his gait and stared, befuddled, at the car. The guy working on the fountain said “Yeah, ai thought ai saw that. Maybe ai was seein’ things, you know?” I nodded sagely again and then bolted for the nearest building.

foot guy

Sunday, March 28th, 2010 | Uncategorized | 6 Comments

And if you know what I’m talking about, there’s a 50% chance that you’re mad at me for it. Lovely.

So I went to the gymnastics homeshow with Kayla (because I’m broad-minded, I guess) and we watched “A Knight to Remember: the Battle for the City of Ur Sole.” Yes, I know that there are two puns in that. I didn’t write the program (as will become apparent if you keep reading).

Children came out and did some things. I was NOT that coordinated at that age. Then to the main program: there was a backdrop of a castle wall (exciting, I know) and some really overly-dramatic monologue, and then gymnastics to break it up. There was this one evil guy with some VERY ineffective troops (instead of going over the wall, they just ran up and down it, bouncing on trampolines. Fun times, I know. One girl had the height to go straight over the wall, but she just kept going sideways (fail). So the evil guy called his troops back and tried (?) to get into the city himself.

He got down on a weirdly shaped wooden thing and then twirled cylinders on his feet.

You read that correctly.

So I started calling him foot guy and making fun of him and laughing all the harder. The entire program, he was just walking around leering at things menacingly. And when you spend an hour leering at a wall and stroking it (he did stroke it twice), you come off as creepy, not evil. ANYWHOOZLE If you know me (and if you read this blog I hope that you do) then you know that I am full of sarcastic remarks that come spilling out of me at every turn. So this is where the narrative becomes sad. Brittney and Regina yelled at Kayla to shut me up and then I had to move. I didn’t really want to move, but Regina and Brittney have the power to make my life hell if they want, so I moved. Just the same, I don’t think they had as much fun as I did (and I don’t even like gymnastics). I just like Foot Guy and the . . . narrative, if you can call it that, that ran through the program. I made fun of it, yes. That’s how I enjoy things. I point out the inconsistencies. Like “Truck Alignment Specialist.” I don’t know how that’s supposed to make sense (SHUT UP I’M READING THE WORDS, NOT THE INTENT, I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS, IT WAS A SIGN ON TIRES, SHEESH) and I make fun of it.

And however much I enjoy myself, I sometimes regret being a massive dick. I AM and it’s not fun knowing it. I’m the kind of guy that I dislike seeing on the street. So I’m going to start holding myself in, reigning myself back, and making better decisions. I’m praying about it, so God will help. I hope. But today was not the day for it. Tour = tired, arriving at 7 = no sleep, Robby = wacky.

Take away from this: